When it comes to action films, there are endless titles that have been keeping viewers on the edge of their seats since the black-and-white era. However, a lot of action movies not surprisingly also contain a good amount of humor. There’s nothing wrong with that, but more rare are no-nonsense pure action flicks that aren’t trying to make you crack a smile while Jackie Chan kicks the bad guy through a car window.

As you will see most of these titles (and there are many other great ones not listed) revolve around war, battle, or revenge in some way. Generally speaking your buddy probably isn’t doing Jerry Lewis impressions while bombs are dropping around your foxhole. Or maybe he is? Either way, here we go.

MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY

10 First Blood

     Orion Pictures Corporation

Released in 1982, First Blood (also known as Rambo: First Blood) was co-written by Sylvester Stallone and he also stars in the film as Vietnam War veteran John Rambo. Suffering PTSD from the war, Rambo goes in search of an old friend who he discovers has died from Agent Orange poisoning. The local sheriff and deputies give Rambo a hard time and it triggers flashbacks from the war prompting him to go ham on the whole damn town. The film was a huge success that produced four sequels, all just as action-packed, but First Blood is where it all began for the franchise. It’s hard to be funny when you’re stitching up your gunshot wound with a needle and thread in the woods.

MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY

MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY

MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY

9 The Bourne Ultimatum

     Universal Pictures

The Bourne Ultimatum, widely considered the best of the Jason Bourne franchise, was released in 2007 and stars Matt Damon in what is the third movie in the five-part series. Damon plays Jason Bourne, a former CIA black-ops assassin with dissociative amnesia who is trying to recover the truth about who he is. The government views him as a liability and chases him around the world trying to take him out. But he’s been trained too good and by hand and by gun he is able to handle himself in every situation. Bourne keeps things exciting for sure, but the guy not only lost his memory but his sense of humor as well.

8 300

     Warner Bros. Pictures

If blood, gore, beards, swords, spears and enough testosterone to launch the next Space X mission to Mars is your thing, then the movie 300 is your best friend. Released in 2006, the plot centers around King Leonidas gathering 300 of his best Spartan warriors to go into battle against the Persian God-King Xerxes who is backed by an army of more than 300,000 soldiers. The Spartans are superior in nearly every way and run roughshod through Xerxes’s best, but in the end, the sheer number of Persians overwhelm them. Death, war, glory, mythical creatures – nobody ever walked out of this movie laughing.

7 Missing in Action

     Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Chuck Norris is the action God of the 80’s – bar none. But one might be surprised at just how many of his movies did have humor. Chuck could cheese it up with the best of them. But not in his 1984 film Missing in Action where he played Colonel Braddock, a former Vietnam war prisoner who returns 10 years later to try and rescue the rest of the Americans who are still being held captive. Patented Chuck Norris martial arts moves and fight scenes accompany bullets, explosions and prisoners of war being tortured. Leave your funny bone at home.

6 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

     Sony Pictures Classics

Released in 2000, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is a Chinese language traditional style martial arts movie with a huge Hollywood-style production. The cinematography is top-notch and the film won many awards including a Golden Globe for Best Foreign Film. The 19th Century Qing Dynasty and a lost sword named “Green Destiny” create the backdrop for an exciting and dramatic storyline starring Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh. The film is full of complicated martial arts fight choreography and mystical powers but light on the laughs.

5 Gladiator

Based in ancient Rome, Gladiator is the 2000 release from Director Ridley Scott starring Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix. Crowe’s character Maximus is favored by emperor Marcus Aurelius to succeed him, but the emperor’s son Commodus (played by Phoenix) has different plans and kills his father, strips Maximus of his rank, and forces him into the gladiator arena where it’s kill or be killed. Swords, sandals and gory battle scenes will likely subdue even your most humorous friends.

4 Black Hawk Down

     Columbia Pictures

Another Ridley Scott film makes the list with the 2001 release of Black Hawk Down starring Ewan McGregor. Inspired by true events, the plot centers around two U.S. Black Hawk helicopters being shot down behind enemy lines in Somalia while on a peacekeeping and humanitarian mission. The downed U.S. soldiers come under heavy fire from Somali forces as they try to survive until reinforcements can rescue them. This movie takes you into the heart of the battlefield and all the bullets and explosions that entails. Believe it or not, not much humor at all here.

3 Collateral Damage

Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Gordy Brewer, an L.A. firefighter who loses his family in a terrorist bombing, the 2002 release of Collateral Damage may not have won any Oscars, but it delivers plenty of high-energy unfunny action. As Gordy, Schwarzenegger takes matters into his own hands to track down the people who murdered his family and ends up in Columbia where he finds himself at the center of a national security crisis. Arnie goes on the warpath and after single-handedly taking out a small army by himself he is able to prevent a massive planned terror attack on the U.S. If dead serious revenge killing where you end up winning a Presidential Medal of Freedom in the end is your thing, then this one is for you.

2 Taken

     EuropaCorp

Liam Neeson stars in the 2008 film Taken as an ex-Green Beret and ex-CIA agent whose daughter is kidnapped while vacationing in Paris. Neeson, as former agent Bryan Mills, soon finds out his daughter is scheduled to be sold as a sex slave on the black market and he must rush to save her. Neeson relies on his military and martial skills to infiltrate the sex traffic ring and save his daughter. One can imagine the lengths a father with that type of training might go through to save his daughter. It’s bloody and violent and unfunny as all hell.

1 Saving Private Ryan

     DreamWorks Pictures

Maybe Steven Spielberg’s greatest work and released in 1998, Saving Private Ryan is set during the Battle of Normandy in World War II and stars Tom Hanks as Captain John Miller. The Captain must embark on a mission to find Private James Ryan (played by Matt Damon), who is the last survivor of four brothers and is caught behind enemy lines. It’s a graphic and realistic depiction of war and an emotional Matterhorn as Ryan is saved but Miller is killed in the process. This one is as about as serious as it gets.