Movies aren’t just a means of escapism and entertainment. While, yes, many theater experiences enrapture us away from reality and transport us beyond ourselves to another world entirely, sometimes they may also hold up a looking glass to our own lives. Whether set in outer space or right around your knack of the woods, films have a great deal to teach us about common themes of everyday life, such as friendship.
Friendship is a dynamic often explored in film, and in a great number of ways. We see the tales of friends that drift apart, of friends that become lovers, of betrayal, of loyalty, and of finding friendship in the least of expected places. No matter what genre, and even if the characters are not even human, the stories told in film are rooted in the human experience and therefore can almost always inspire thoughtful reflection. From moving indie pieces and high stakes dramas to blockbuster comedies, here are twenty films that can teach us a great deal about friendship.
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
20 The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)
Searchlight Pictures
The wonder of The Banshees of Inisherin is the palpable humanity of the story being told. Though the film is set on an entirely fictional Irish isle of Inisherin, the heart of the story feels devastatingly true. It is not lost on the audience that the self-destructive feud between long-time friends Colm and Pádraic is set in the aftermath of the Irish Civil War. The two friends fight each other, but truly themselves, just as their country did the same.
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
Perhaps the erratic behavior of the men is a reflection of the sort of damage that wartime does to the human psyche, but even without the metaphors for war, the film speaks to the erratic and passionate nature that emotions and relationships can have. Colm is tired of his friend Pádraic rather out of the blue, and each man digs in his heels to either end the friendship or attempt to mend it, respectively. The characters make some extreme decisions in the film that (hopefully) do not mirror real life for most people, but it can invite us to reflect on the moments where pride and obstinacy can lead us to futile battles.
19 Booksmart (2019)
United Artists Releasing
Booksmart is a witty coming-of-age comedy that emphasizes the importance of independence within a healthy friendship. Molly and Amy, two high school seniors and soon-to-be-graduates, are enjoying a night of partying before their upcoming graduation. This isn’t a very typical night for the pair, who have been mostly unpopular throughout their high school career. They decide to make this night a memorable one as they regretfully reflect on their high school experiences, but this, of course, does not go according to plan. As the girls weave in and out of one chaotic situation and another, nearly tearing their friendship apart, they come to terms with themselves and set healthy boundaries for their friendship.
18 Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (2015)
Indian Paintbrush
This moving film captures its premise, very much in a nutshell, in the title. Introverted high school student Greg is forced to re-assume a friendship with a former childhood companion, the now terminally-ill Rachel. Along with his friend and film-making buddy Earl, Greg grows increasingly fond of Rachel as she battles her diagnosis. Friendship with a terminally-ill person is not easy for Greg, and he has to learn how to step outside himself and think selflessly when it comes to Rachel. He wants her to keep fighting the cancer, but ultimately learns how to respect her choices and continue to be a good friend in the way that she needs him to be, not according to his own selfish desires. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl is furthermore a powerful and touching piece for anyone who has suffered the loss of a friend or loved one.
17 Girls Trip (2017)
Universal Pictures
Even a light-hearted and sometimes raunchy comedy can teach us a lot about friendship. Girls Trip takes its leading ladies on a New Orleans getaway on account of one of them speaking at the Essence Music Festival. Though their friendship has survived since their college days, the women all live vastly different lifestyles. The film highlights how long-distance friendships can often bypass the growing pains that relationships face as people evolve, and their lives dramatically change, with the reunion bringing these issues to the surface. The women can either let these challenges tear their group apart, or they can take advantage of this time together to not only get to know each other again as they are and not as they were, but to reconnect with long-lost parts of themselves.
16 Wonder (2017)
Lionsgate
This true tear-jerker follows little August “Auggie” Pullman, a boy living with a rare genetic disorder called Treacher Collins Syndrome. The disorder causes developmental deformities in children, which may sometimes lead to increased complications. As one may expect, enrolling in a public school for fifth grade after having been homeschooled proves a difficult endeavor for Auggie, who is initially rejected by his classmates. Enduring some bullying and struggling to find true friendships, Auggie continues to be positive and kind, with the school community eventually coming around for the young boy. Wonder speaks to the power of kindness and friendship, encouraging viewers to look beyond appearances and to appreciate people for who they are.
15 Frances Ha (2013)
IFC Films
Written by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig, as well as directed by the former and starring the latter, Frances Ha is a unique indie film about being in your twenties. With its black-and-white film style, the dramedy follows the titular character of Frances (Gerwig) as she faces a sort of quarter life crisis. Her roommate and best friend Sophie seems to be moving onto bigger and better things, with every update taking her to greater heights. First, she announces she is moving into a desirable neighborhood. Then, she is taken with a man who she eventually follows to Tokyo, with the pair later becoming engaged.
This all serves as a stark contrast to Frances, whose friendship with Sophie becomes increasingly distant as she faces stagnation in her own career and romantic life. Frances learns a valuable lesson about the importance of friendship, not comparing oneself to others, and of finding happiness in the little victories of life as she reflects and grows. The shining star of Frances Ha is the story of friendship between Frances and Sophie, showing how friendship is not always all rosy, especially as young people come into themselves and transition through life’s eras.
14 The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (2005)
Warner Bros.
A group of adolescent girls are going their separate ways, but they all love that one pair of jeans that fits them all just right. A symbol of their enduring bond, the girls decide to send the pants around all summer so that each can put some use to them. The story follows the girls as the jeans make their rounds around the world and the girls learn valuable life lessons.
13 Mean Girls (2004)
Paramount Pictures
This classic teen comedy is likely known to most readers, but it is worth a revisit to explore the lessons it can teach us. Mean Girls produced some of the most iconic moments in early 2000s comedy, with its characters and sequences endlessly parodied to this day. As Cady Heron loses herself in envy and frivolity in her duplicitous scheme to sabotage the “plastics”, she loses sight of her own values as a person. In fact, nearly all the characters in the movie lose themselves to some sort of social vice, be it gossip, envy, hatred, manipulation, or selfishness. The film does a marvelous job of calling out this behavior without punishing the characters. The students of Northshore High School get to confront the worst parts of themselves and subsequently improve their lives and friendships, growing through exploring the best and worst of themselves.
12 E.T the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
This comforting children’s sci-fi film follows the funny-looking but lovable, little extra-terrestrial, known as E.T, as he seeks shelter – and finds friendship among– the children of the Taylor household. E.T is possibly the most endearing alien in any Hollywood film, with his presence being entirely harmless as he demonstrates various powers. The story is a friendship that transcends our very planet, as young Elliot forms a deep connection with E.T. A classic of the 1980s, E.T the Extra-Terrestrial is a heart-warming lesson on the purity of friendship, kindness, and devotion.
11 Big Hero 6 (2014)
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
The animated superhero film follows young Hiro, a genius boy living in the fictional and futuristic city of San Fransokyo. He follows his brother into a world of science and robotics, which quickly turns dark with the rise of a rogue scientist and the death of Hiro’s brother, Tadashi. The story follows the main character’s journey through grief, as he first neglects friendship in a blind pursuit of vengeance. He eventually learns the power of healing through friendship, and bonds with the well-meaning Baymax. Despite being a children’s film, Big Hero 6 has powerful storylines and meaningful lessons in its epic animated sequences.
10 The Breakfast Club (1985)
Another teen classic, The Breakfast Club is a coming-of-age story with a valuable lesson on friendship. The group of teens at its center come together for a shared punishment of all-day detention. Despite their differences, the group forms lasting friendships and touching bonds as they get to know each other. Besides being one of the most iconic movies of the 1980s, The Breakfast Club is a timeless exploration of the teenage psyche, and the importance that genuine and supportive friendships have on young people.
9 Bridesmaids (2011)
Universal Pictures
The blockbuster comedy tackles friendship in one of the most stressful but rewarding of events— a wedding. As a group of women come together as bridesmaids, they fall into a series of hijinx that lead them on journeys of self-discovery and strengthened bonds.
8 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)
20th Century Fox
Lorelai Lee and Dorothy Shaw are a pair of best friends with a common gift– seducing men. Of course, the pair have different ideas of what they look for in a man, and as a result, different methods of captivating their suitors. The two women are unapologetically looking out for themselves and each other, having the sort of fun in their youth that beautiful young women vying for marriage can have. They don’t take these men too seriously, and their friendship remains of paramount priority. In the end, the two women find what they were looking for without sacrificing themselves or their loyalty to each other.
7 Cinema Paradiso (1988)
Titanus
Winning the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, Cinema Paradiso is a beautiful tale of a young boy, Salvatore, in the small Sicilian village of Giancaldo as he discovers the magic of cinema. The story is told via flashbacks from the perspective of a now-grown Salvatore who works as a film marker in Rome. Salvatore receives news of the death of Alfredo, the man who taught him how to operate the projections at the local cinema, prompting him to return to Giancaldo for the funeral. The film is nothing short of a masterpiece as young Salvatore’s journey of discovery and coming of age journey is captured with the enchantment and wonder of a child. The friendship at the center of the film, that of Alfredo and Salvatore, shows us that lifelong bonds and the most meaningful of connections can be found and maintained in unlikely places, transcending age and distance.
Despite their estrangement, Alfredo never forgot the boy he became a sort of father figure for, following Salvatore’s success from afar. Salvatore did not stay in contact with the old man as well as he should have through the years, but perhaps that is the truest sign of the familial nature of the relationship— sometimes we take for granted those who have the greatest investment in our happiness and well-being. Perhaps the truest sign of being loved unconditionally and fully is the folly of taking the connection for granted, because we are too comfortable and secure in it to give thought to its absence. Alfredo understands this, and he leaves a gift for the boy that puts him back in touch with his roots.
6 The Outsiders (1983)
The Outsiders is a cult classic that speaks to the complexities of friendship when one is already struggling with socio-economic disparities, domestic issues, and the everyday challenges of being a teenager. The friendship between Johnny, Ponyboy, and Dallas is a heartbreaking and raw tale of what friendship can be when you’ve been dealt a very difficult hand in life. The characters are imperfect and tragic, with astounding performances by the cast bringing humanity and truth to the roles.
5 Someone Great (2019)
Netflix
At first glance, Someone Great presents itself as a story of heartbreak. It is, but it’s also more than that. As Jenny Young goes through the five stages of grief over her breakup with longtime boyfriend Nate, it is the devotion and uplifting spirits of her friends that help her most to get through this difficult time. Jenny learns to close one chapter and start another with grace and acceptance, knowing her friends will always be there no matter the distance or time that separates them.
4 The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (2008)
Miramax Films
The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas is a story set to the most tragic of backgrounds in recent history. A young German boy named Bruno, the son of an SS officer, is moved to occupied Poland and lives in an extremely close vicinity to a concentration camp. Innocent to the atrocities committed at the camp and resistant to Nazi indoctrination, Bruno befriends a young Jewish boy from the camp, Shmuel. As the boys communicate through the fence that separates them, they develop a bond despite the malevolent forces that seek to keep them apart. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas delivers a powerful message on the senselessness of war, racism, and hate. Through the eyes of innocent children forming a loyal friendship, the film highlights the atrocities human beings are capable of inflicting on one another when they lose touch with their own humanity.
3 The Shawshank Redemption
Columbia Pictures
The Shawshank Redemption has many meaningful layers to it, with the film tackling extremely sensitive and controversial topics. As the inmates of Shawshank Prison face assault, corruption, poor conditions, and more, the friendship between the two inmates gives the two men hope for a better future. Red and Andy are brought together under the worst of circumstances, living in conditions that violate a human’s most basic rights and dignity. Yet, the men find room in their hearts and minds to connect with their vulnerable humanity despite being in an environment that inhibits any kind of positivity or growth. The movie has a great story about an enduring friendship forged under terrible circumstances while also shining a light on important issues within prison reform.
2 Eternity and a Day (1998)
Artistic License
A Greek film chronicling a lonely old man and a terrified Albanian refugee boy; the two characters connected by fear and longing. The old man longs for his dead wife, to expand upon the greatness of his favorite poet. The boy fears what is to come in his life as he feels persecution and traffickers. The two are united in their mutual emotions as the old man helps the boy to escape. In this film, friendship is explored through the motivation of loneliness and the bonds that arise out of necessity.
1 The Goonies (1985)
Warner Bros. Pictures
Another classic of the ’80s, The Goonies is all about friendship and the love of home. The children that call themselves the “Goonies” are residents of Goon Dock, a neighborhood that is threatened by an expanding country club. The children decide to go on one last adventure together in their beloved community, which ultimately saves their homes. The children achieve this by sticking together faithfully and looking out for one another even in the face of incredible obstacles.
