Overall, there are mixed feelings about the concept of coming out — all of which are valid. On the one hand, some see the notion of coming-out as a product of our heteronormative society, which wishes to further alienate queer people. And on the other, coming out is a necessary form of self-identification and can help alleviate some symptoms of mental illness, like anxiety and depression. At the same time, coming out is luxury that isn’t afforded to everyone, depending on one’s socioeconomic or geographic location. Whether it’s for ourselves or for others, everyone has their own ways of coming out (and not).
Across the history of LGBTQ+ cinema, many queer narratives have infused a character’s coming-out as part of the overall story. It’s commonly seen in many coming-of-age stories, in which a queer character’s emotional journey ultimately leads to a moment of self-acceptance, expression, and coming out. Whatever your stance on coming out, there’s power in seeing LGBTQ+ characters on the big screen share their full, authentic selves. Here are six movies that explore the idea of coming out.
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6 Boy Erased (2018)
Perfect World Pictures
Having received numerous nominations for major awards, such as the Golden Globes, Boy Erased is a critically acclaimed LGBTQ+ movie based on a real-life experience. The son of a baptist pastor is forced to undergo gay conversion therapy after being outed to his parents. The reality of such experiences is even more devastating when you realize it’s biographical and a sad truth for many queer folks around the globe. Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, and Russell Crowe have done an excellent job at portraying the brutal yet oddly censored message in the movie. Before you decide to watch it, beware of the many trigger warnings and make sure you know that it’s not a happy coming-out story. Perhaps read Garrard Conley’s 2016 memoir of the same name in advance to prepare yourselves.
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
5 Blue is the Warmest Color (2013)
Wild Bunch
Although heavily criticized for its overly sexualized portrayal of the lead sapphic relationship, Blue is the Warmest Color is definitely worth mentioning on our list. The plot of the French romance film follows Adéle and her exploration of freedom as a teenager and throughout her younger days, accompanied by a girl named Emma, who helps her navigate the unknown waters. You can definitely feel the French in the aesthetics of the movie. Beware of the male gaze scenes before you get around to watching and instead focus on the exploration of identity and sexuality that it offers. You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable and hate it.
4 Moonlight (2016)
A24
Having won the Academy Award for the Best Picture and many more, Moonlight has been continuously labeled as one of the best films of the 21st Century. It was also the first-ever LGBTQ+ movie with an all-Black cast, and it was done amazingly. It follows the three stages of Chiron’s life as he tries to come to terms with his identity as a gay Black man. The lessons learned, the many references to the oceans, and the soft-spoken metaphors will surely rip your heart right out. It’s a beautifully made movie, nicely representing gay Black men as they navigate their way through the identity that’s been taken away from them and suppressed deep down by the society.
3 Pariah (2011)
Northstar Pictures
Directed by Dee Rees and starring Adepero Oduye in the main role, Pariah is a 2011 coming-of-age drama that focuses on a 17-year-old girl who’s trying to come to terms with her sexual identity as a lesbian. It’s highly underappreciated in our opinion. Alike (Oduye) juggles relationships, heartbreaks, family, and her identity in a desperate need to express her sexuality and find her own way in the world. The movie has a realistically happy ending, and it’s just extremely beautiful in portraying the struggles with gender identity, as well as family-related complications that come with coming out as your true self. On top of it all, the lead character is a poet, so get ready for some touching lines.
2 But I’m A Cheerleader (1999)
Ignite Entertainment
Before becoming the star of the Netflix originals Orange Is The New Black and Russian Doll, Natasha Lyonne was helping to further the LGBTQ+ representation even back in the 90s. As the main star of the satirical romantic comedy But I’m A Cheerleader, Lyonne portrays the lead character Megan who gets sent to a conversion camp to learn the ways of a heterosexual life, but instead ends up falling in love with a fellow lesbian at the camp. The whole journey in the camp starts out with admitting their true sexual identity, which has been strongly denied by Megan due to the heteronormative environment she’s been raised in. It’s extremely funny and heartbreaking, but also adorably fun. Give it a watch!
1 Love, Simon (2018)
20th Century Fox
Last but not least, we have what is probably the most popular movie about coming out among the young generation and coming-of-age lovers: Love, Simon. Based on the novel Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, the plot follows teenager Simon and his high-school year as a closeted gay boy, not ready to come out. Although the movie has been praised for its portrayal of queerness, there are still some elements that make the whole coming-out experience uncomfortable. After getting publicly outed by a fellow classmate, Simon’s best friends get angry that he’s never told them about his sexual identity, completely negating the fact that every queer person has a right to go at their own pace. Instead of showing support, they abandon him at the most crucial time, and eventually he is the one who apologizes. All in all, it perfectly showcases the confusing times of a high-schooler.
